dragons in front of a burning castle

Robots in DISGUISE!

So, my friends have been watching a lot of Transformers lately. As far as I’m aware, they’ve gone through Prime, G1, Robots in Disguise (The new one?), the live action movies, and are currently watching Animated.

Anyway, I had a idea for a, well, not quite story, but I guess a Transformers event? An intro? Whatever it is, I kinda just wrote until I ran out of things to write, which admittedly was way more than I expected.

It also took way more writing time than I thought it would, as I couldn’t find an easy table of Transformers to Alternate Modes. I really felt like half the time I spent on this was researching what kind of car a transformer was supposed to be.

This is tentatively set within the Aligned Continuity, in the sense that it uses a setting from the aligned Robots in Disguise and Miko from Prime. However, those were set in the near future and I tried to choose modern (2020’s) sports cars for the alternate modes so…

Anyway, some small time rally drivers get swept up in Autobot business.

Not to mention all of the memes they send me.

Memes seem like a decent way to teach people about something kinda 😐

Also, apparently Kit Scenarist output the notes I made to myself. I’m too lazy to get rid of them, so everything in double brackets are my personal notes that shouldn’t be in the script. Single brackets are notes that should be in the script.


Title: Transformers

EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY – SUNSET #1#

The sun is beginning to set over a highway cutting through a hilly forested area. There are a number of cars traveling on it, more than one would expect for what appears to be a remote road.

A green Subaru Impreza WRX with custom modifications (spoiler, intake, suspension, diffuser, etc.) is speeding down the fast lane.

INT. SUBARU – SUNSET #2#

CRIS DAKER, 20, an aspiring rally driver with dyed dark green hair and a camo jacket (He likes green) is talking to WINTER ZHENG over a smartphone mounted on the dash.

CRIS

Where are all these people going? I need an open stretch to push the turbo.

WINTER

We just put it in, I’d prefer if you waited at least one day before breaking it.

(off Cris)

How’s the pressure?

CRIS

(REVS engine, turbo gauge moves a little[[I think it’s possible to rev and start to build boost, then then lift without too much problems?]])

Got some boost when I rev. I’m holding in fifth at two and a half thousand rpm so... Negative two psi.

WINTER

Hm. We can lower the threshold if you want.

CRIS

I want to see it at under load. The temperature’s steady so...

(notices something in rearview mirror)

Hold on.

Behind him, a number of fancy sports cars are weaving through traffic. They are quickly approaching Cris, and will overtake him soon. [List chars/cars here?]

CRIS (CONT’D)

Looks like there’s a race going on. They’re really moving.

WINTER

(warning)

Cris...

A Blue/White Cadillac[[I know I’m getting the cars wrong but most of them in prime/RiD aren’t even real cars so it’s fine]] DPi-VR [BLURR] ROARS past.

CRIS

(astonished)

Look at these cars! You’re missing out.

A Yellow Camaro GT4.R [BUMBLEBEE] and a White Porsche 911 Turbo with blue racing stripes [JAZZ] PASS as Cris floors the accelerator... The engine REVS and the turbo kicks in!

WINTER

You really shouldn’t get involved in someone else’s race!

CRIS

Chill out, Winter! I’m just testing the turbo a bit.

He is passed by a McLaren Senna LM [SMOKESCREEN] and a Nissan Z GT500 [BLUESTREAK].

CRIS (CONT’D)

I don’t think I’ll be able to keep up for long, anyway.

A Mini Countryman [SIDEWAYS] and Bowler Bulldog [SPRINGER] are behind him.

(In the background are more Autobots, including OPTIMUS PRIME, a semi-truck inexplicably keeping up with the supercars)

CRIS

Who are these people?

Cris doesn’t contest as a few Autobots PASS him (Sideways, Springer, MOONRACER (Lotus Eletre), TRACKS (Chevrolet Corvette C8.R)).

WINTER

There’s a side road in one half mile; turn square right.

CRIS

Got it. I’ll try to get a feel for the lag too.

More Autobots PASS as Cris changes[[He uses his turn signal lol]] lanes.

Cris looks ahead and realizes the cars are turning at the road ahead.

CRIS

Uh, they’re turning.

WINTER

What? Okay, I’m looking...

Cris tries to move over but FIRESTAR (Armada Engineering Trophy) is in the way. He has no choice but to hit the brakes and turn onto a dirt road.

CRIS

Couldn’t get clear, had to turn!

WINTER

Okay, GPS says that road goes out to the canyons.

Cris is looking in mirrors for an opportunity to get clear[[As a rally driver, he doesn’t have good racecraft.]] of the Autobot formation.

WINTER

Hold on. There’s a severe storm warning where you’re going.

CRIS

What? The sky looks clear.

WINTER

Regardless, you’d better get out quick. I’m looking for a road that goes back to the highway.

SIDESWIPE, a red Lamborghini Aventador S with dark widows pulls alongside Cris’s Subaru, but doesn’t pass.

SIDESWIPE

(as if over a loudspeaker)

Hey kid! What do you think you’re doing?

Cris can’t be heard over the engines, so he tries to pantomime.

CRIS

(hand motions)

I have no idea.

Cris is in the tail end of the Autobot group now. Two Police Cars (STRONGARM, PROWL) of different make approach from behind, flashing lights and blaring SIRENS.

SIDESWIPE

(unimpressed)

Oh no. It’s the police. You’d better get out of here before you get caught.

CRIS

Aaah!

He turns into a dirt side road, losing the rear a little.

The Autobots continue down the original road.

CRIS

Winter, I had to turn! How do I get back to the highway?

The side road curves into a hilly area.

WINTER

Okay, I’m looking on the GPS... Uh, the storm is right on top of you!

Cris drifts around a corner, oversteering slightly...

CRIS

What storm? Road is dry!

WINTER

There’s warnings over the entire area. Hey, are the racers around? You’re still going fast.

CRIS

There were some cops! I don’t know if-

WINTER

Okay. Sixty[[Rally pacenotes.

(distance if applicable) – Severity of corner – Direction

]] four left; eighty flat right long.

Cris speeds along the road according to Winter’s calls. [Winter’s calls should match road.]

CRIS

Road tires seem fine so far...

WINTER

Caution two right into turn five right

Cris oversteers again...

CRIS

That was a three!

WINTER

I’m working off the map here! four left... maybe one hundred.

WINTER (CONT’D)

What? There’s a tornado warning right on top of you!

CRIS

I still don’t see anything!

The sky is overcast and orange from the sunset, but not stormy, nor is there a tornado...

But there, in the distance are flashes of light and smoke plumes (the Autobots and Decepticons are fighting).

CRIS

Something in the distance maybe?

WINTER

You need to find shelter! I’m rerouting you to some scrapyard until the tornado clears.

CRIS

Yeah, okay.

WINTER

Turn square right. Flat from there.

Cris turns onto a new road that leads toward a familiar looking junkyard.

EXT. SCRAPYARD – SUNSET #3#

Cris pulls up to a walled compound. A sign reads: Vintage Salvage Depot for the Discriminating Nostalgist.

The gate is open, inside are dozens of rows with hundreds of items of all varieties are haphazardly organized. To the side is a house with a side garage.

CRIS

It’s open.

Cris slowly drives in towards the building, parking under the garage.

He grabs his phone from the dock and steps out. He doesn’t close the call...

He knocks on the door.

CRIS

Hello?

(beat)

I’m just here because of the tornado warning!

(beat)

Hello?

The door opens and DENNY CLAY, 40s, a bearded man in a flower shirt, collector of collectibles, walks out with a worried look.

DENNY CLAY

Um. Hi! Welcome. I’m sorry, but I’m rather busy at the moment; but the good news is that I just checked, and the tornado is moving north. So if you just take the south road you-

The house EXPLODES!

Both Cris and Denny are thrown to the ground, but the garage remains relatively intact. Cris’s phone is thrown across the room.

Dazed, two manage to get to their feet in time for STARSCREAM[[Probably the Aligned Robots in Disguise version]] to stick his head down below the garage roof.

STARSCREAM

(smug)

I do hope no one was in there...

Cris is absolutely freaked out as he sees the Decepticon.

STARSCREAM (CONT’D)

(off Cris)

Oh hello. I don’t believe we’ve met.

MAIN TITLES

EXT. SCRAPYARD – NIGHT #4#

The scrapyard is bathed in light from both the street lamps and Starscream’s SEEKERS, who are ransacking the place.

Cris’s car has been moved to the center of the compound with Cris and Denny inside, under the watch of THUNDERCRACKER.

CRIS

(amazed)

Aliens who can turn into vehicles?

DENNY CLAY

Yeah, you get used to it after a while.

CRIS

These ones are bad-

DENNY CLAY

Decepticons.

CRIS

And turn into jets?

Starscream approaches from behind.

DENNY CLAY

Yeah, actually, Starscream does this backflip thing. It’s pretty cool, kinda.

STARSCREAM

Thank you! At least someone appreciates me.

(stern)

But don’t think flattery will get you anywhere with me. Tell me where you’re hiding the Proto-matrix and I promise we won’t break anything else... too much.

DENNY CLAY

You’re barking up the wrong tree, Starscream. Do you really think the Autobots would hide it here?

STARSCREAM

I don’t know... Bumblebee steals it from me and ends up in his old base of operations.

DENNY CLAY

They’re my friends! I was just letting them crash here. I don’t know if they even brought it with them.

STARSCREAM

(overdramatic suspicion)

Really...

Starscream glares at Cris.

CRIS

Don’t look at me, I just got here.

A loud CRASH from behind a wall preempts a triumphant cry from SKYWARP.

SKYWARP

I’ve got it!

Exasperated, Denny buries his hands in his face.

STARSCREAM

(smug)

See? I knew it was here.

(Looks to horizon)

And just in time, too. Be sure to tell all your friends how they were completely and utterly defeated by me, Starscream.

The Seekers congregate in the center of the compound, Skywarp is holding a glowing purple trapezoidal prism – the Proto-matrix.

STARSCREAM

Turn and burn, Seekers!

They all turn into jets and fly off, just in time, as the Autobots speed through the gate...

Bumblebee and BULKHEAD transform into robot mode and shoot at the retreating Decepticons. From inside Bulkhead is MIKO NAKADAI, 28, armed with an cybertron-grade laser rifle, also fires at the Decepticons. None land any hits.

MIKO

Scrap! They got away!

BULKHEAD

But did they get the proto-matrix?

The complex is filling with Autobots, most shifting to their robot form as Cris and Danny exit the Subaru.

Cris is amazed, gawking at the robots around him.

DENNY CLAY

They found it.

The Autobots react negatively and murmur among themselves.

BUMBLEBEE

Don’t beat yourself up, Denny. I don’t know how-

(at Cris)

Who is this?

DENNY CLAY

Uh... Yeah. This is...

CRIS

(off Denny)

Cris Daker.

DENNY CLAY

He thought he needed to take shelter from the storm warnings we put up, but Starscream arrived before he could leave.

Miko aggressively stalks up to Cris.

MIKO

Awfully suspicious, showing up right before the ‘Cons.

CRIS

Woah- hey! I was almost killed! I’d never have- I didn’t know about any of this!

MIKO

What, and we’re just supposed to believe you?

DENNY CLAY

I was there, Miko. Trust me, he’s no spy.

MIKO

Fine. But I’m watching you.

Bumblebee crouches down to shake Chris’s hand (as much as he can, being a huge robot).

BUMBLEBEE

Well, it’s nice to meet you, Cris. I’m Bumblebee.

CRIS

(awkwardly shaking hand)

Yeah. Nice to meet you too. So, uh... You’re an Autobot?

BUMBLEBEE

Yup! Straight from the planet Cybertron.

CRIS

So, uh... I didn’t quite catch the difference between a uh, you, and a Decepticon...

BUMBLEBEE

Well, I can see where you’re confused, as Decepticons are also from Cybertron. But the difference is-

He stops as a hush falls over the compound. Optimus Prime has entered, alongside Jazz.

All eyes are on him as he continues to the center.

OPTIMUS PRIME

Autobots, I’m afraid I have some bad news.

MIRAGE

Worse than losing the proto-matrix?

OPTIMUS PRIME

Yes. Although perhaps there is a silver lining here. Starscream is likely to be just as stuck as we are.

Confused, but intuiting where Prime is going, the Autobots murmur among themselves.

OPTIMUS PRIME (CONT’D)

The space bridge is malfunctioning. Whether by overuse or by sabotage, the cause is unknown.

The Autobots react negatively.

KUP

So we’re trapped on this planet?

BLUESTREAK

Did we bring enough energon?

OPTIMUS PRIME

Calm down, everyone! Wheeljack and Ratchet are working on a fix.

(MORE)

OPTIMUS PRIME (CONT’D)

In the meantime, we have an opportunity to retake the proto-matrix. But first, team leaders: we’re going to have to find long term lodging. Everyone else, get some rest.

The complex slowly winds into action as the various teams of Autobots group up or find someplace to bed down for the night.

BUMBLEBEE

Well, that’s me. Miko, could you uh, get Cris up to speed?

MIKO

(sinister hint)

With pleasure.

Bumblebee and Danny leave, meeting up with the rest of Bee team.

MIKO

I’m still keeping an eye on you.

CRIS

Okay? I still don’t know what’s going on.

MIKO

Oh yeah? Which part? The alien robots, or the war, or the proto-matrix?

CRIS

The alien robot part, I get.

(Springer walks past)

Wow... That’s so cool.

MIKO

You got that right.

CRIS

The rest of it though...

From the gate...

BRAWN

Someone’s coming! A human!

Everyone starts changing into vehicle mode, trying to get out of sight or be in disguise.

MIKO

Get to the house!

(the house is destroyed)

Or, maybe the garage. Stay out of sight- no one can know about the Autobots.

CRIS

But- It’s probably just Winter!

EXT. SCRAPYARD GATE/GARAGE – NIGHT #5#

A Ford Puma-R[[Ford’s rally car in 2022 is the Puma, but is traditionally one of Ford’s main cars. However, they’ve discontinued all their cars – the Puma is a Europe only crossover.

Maybe in the future Ford will bring back the Escort/Focus/Fiesta. Or make an RS20000]] rolls to a stop in front of the scraphard’s closed gate. Inside is Winter Zheng, 22, an organized, put together rally driver who has a reluctant favor of the color white.

Under the Puma’s blazing lightbar, the gate creeps open, being pushed by Denny...

Winter takes a deep breath, reaching into the glove box to retrieve a Glock 32. She opens the door and exits – standing behind the door and keeping her arm (and the gun) hidden by the car’s frame.

WINTER

Hey! I’m looking for Cris Daker! You seen him recently? He was driving a green Subaru?

DENNY CLAY

Oh, yeah! He had some car troubles, so we were helping him out.

WINTER

(suspicious)

What kind of car troubles?

DENNY CLAY

Well, uh... The storm was pretty windy earlier and a branch smashed his windshield. Now, I conveniently had a spare that fit, we were just finishing up the seal.

WINTER

Really...

SCRAPYARD GARAGE

Cris is looking for his phone in the garage when Optimus Prime rolls up – unusually quiet for a semi.

He TRANSFORMS into robot mode and kneels down to be closer to Cris’s height.

OPTIMUS PRIME

Greetings, Cris Daker. I am Optimus Prime.

CRIS

Uh, hi. Who’s at the gate?

OPTIMUS PRIME

A human woman who is asking for you.

CRIS

That’d be Winter.

OPTIMUS PRIME

Is she your friend?

CRIS

Yes.

OPTIMUS PRIME

Cris Daker. I understand that you may find it hard to lie to a friend, but you must understand that you cannot tell anyone about us. For her safety and ours.

CRIS

That’s... I suppose. What am I going to tell her, though? She-

OPTIMUS PRIME

We produced false storm warnings throughout this area. Perhaps your car was damaged by falling debris.

CRIS

No, that won’t work. I was on the phone with her right up until that Star... stream guy blew up the house.

OPTIMUS PRIME

Hmm... Then we must invent a new story.

SCRAPYARD GATE

WINTER

(frustrated)

Why can’t you let me see him?

DENNY CLAY

I was about to close up, if you just wait a few minutes, he should be right out.

WINTER

I worked on that car! Just ask him! I-

She abruptly stops as a towering hologram of Starscream shimmers in to existence above the compound.

WINTER

What?

DENNY CLAY

(desperate)

Just one of my items. Must have accidentally turned on...

STARSCREAM

(smug)

Hello, Autobots. I hope you aren’t stupid enough to stay at this base, especially after you know that I know you’ve been using it.

WINTER

Um...

STARSCREAM

Just in case you are as dumb as you look, I’ve hidden a bomb somewhere in all that... Stuff. If you can hear this, it’s already too late. Goodbye!

The holo-Starscream disappears. There are lots of voices and general commotion from inside the compound as the Autobots try to find the bomb.

Baffled, Winter reveals the gun, but doesn’t point it at Denny.

WINTER

What’s going on in there? Where’s Cris?

DENNY CLAY

(doesn’t notice[[He probably can’t see Winter behind the lightbar.]] gun)

It’s just my staff, probably looking for that projector.

WINTER

I don’t think so. Where is Cris!

DENNY CLAY

Hey now...

SCRAPYARD GARAGE

The Autobots are scrambling about, looking for the bomb, but not as effectively as they could – they’re still trying to maintain disguise.

An ambulance rolls up.

RATCHET

Prime! You have to let us transform or we’ll never find that bomb!

OPTIMUS PRIME

Cris, how well do you trust your friend?

CRIS

With my life.

OPTIMUS PRIME

Then you do not have to lie to her after all.

(to everyone)

Autobots, transform!

TRANSFORMATION MONTAGE as the Autobots transform and resume searching for the bomb.

SCRAPYARD GATE

The Autobots aren’t hiding themselves anymore, and the taller ones can be seen above the wall.

WINTER

(scared)

What are all those things? What is-

DENNY CLAY

(sighs)

I suppose the gig is up. If you’ll just come on in, we’ll explain everything.

WINTER

What? No way! Where’s Cris?

As if on cue, Cris skids to a stop, having run in from the garage.

CRIS

Winter! Everything’s fine. It’s weird but all right.

WINTER

(relief)

Oh, thank goodness you’re all right!

She tosses the gun into the passenger seat and runs up to Cris. As Denny is pushing the gate open enough for a car, she whispers to Cris...

WINTER

(whisper)

Are you sure it’s fine? What are those things?

CRIS

(whisper)

Yeah, as far as I know, these guys are safe. Well... None of them have tried to kill me.

WINTER

(not whispering)

What? Who tried to- that actually was an explosion on the phone?

CRIS

Yeah... Um. I guess that whole storm warning was a cover for these robot car things fighting each other. Then some of them came here right after I did and blew up a house.

WINTER

(whisper)

I shouldn’t have left the gun in the car.

CRIS

You brought that?

WINTER

Yeah? You went to a strange place and stopped answering your phone!

CRIS

How would that have helped?

WINTER

I don’t know, but it’d help a lot more if there was just regular people here.

CRIS

Yeah, I don’t think a regular gun would work on them. I wonder what they’re made of?

From inside the compound,

RED ALERT

This is it! Go! Go!

A Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk SPEEDS out of the compound...

Once far enough away, it transforms into robot mode and throws a spherical object as far away as possible...

BOOOOOOM!

The shockwave pushes Cris and Winter back, but no one is harmed.

WINTER

What have we gotten ourselves into?

CRIS

Yeah...

(sarcastic)

Remind me not to get involved in other people’s races.

This is the first fully “fan” work here so I should note that I have no involvement with, ownership of, or any other claim upon the Transformers franchise by Hasbro and Takara Tomy. This is written for entertainment purposes only, etc.

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